I am listening to a podcast episode where Dr. Alok Kanojia (“Dr. K”) is explaining the neuroscience and psychology behind the fear of being with one’s thoughts. His quote “The pathway to inner peace involves going through poison” struck a chord with me. Being an only child, most of my time involved being with myself, and as an adult, I immensely enjoy being with my own thoughts. The “poison” for me was remembering childhood experiences that I had tucked away for decades, and ultimately working towards being free of their influences I still harbor.
In the past few years, I have been better at “guarding my peace”, and to recognize that, for the most part, I don’t have to do anything that I don’t want to. As I live halfway around the world from where I grew up, and where most of my extended family live, I have the privilege of literally “keeping distance” from scenarios that disturbs my peace. Early this year, I told a close family member that I will not be communicating with her anymore, because her actions and words have repeatedly created anger within me. Since it is quite rare for me to feel anger, this was my way of allocating more of my energy to folks who lift me up, rather than those who bring me down. Enforcing better boundaries with family members has helped me achieve a better state of mind and it has allows me to live more authentically and free.
